Last.

I have been putting this entry off for a while now… because it is the last entry to be marked for the storytelling module and it’s really just, kinda sad.

This module has become my favourite module and it has to be the shortest. Ah, all good things come to an end huh.

I was kind of upset when the announcement on MEL came. I wasn’t happy that there was no more storytelling lessons. I mean, I wouldn’t even mind going to school earlier. But it got cancelled anyway. 😦 So, I spent that morning/afternoon at the Chinese Garden’s Live Turtle Museum. Well, I might as well blog about it.

It was quite an eye-opener, I must say. The space was small and rather run down. I was apprehensive of wasting that five bucks to enter the museum but thankfully, I did. The turtles were GIGANTIC. And for the first time, I actually felt that they were not as gentle and tamed as they looked.

Photos yay or nay? I say yay. Fine, just one.

There was even a fortune-telling turtle there. (Claimed to be one of the oldest.) I made a wish, anyway. Let’s hope it comes true.

Okay I don’t really know what to blog about anymore, I’m just mainly upset that this is the last post I’m gonna be have you reading because so far, this blog has been making me feel really good. The fact that somebody was reading my insights, again, I guess? I don’t know.

Anyway just in anyone’s concerned, I am fine now. No more crazy nights out. I’m just trying to find my pace and get back on track again. Give me a little time and a little space. I’ll be fine. Broken but will survive. I’m just really terrified of my wisdom teeth extraction surgery now. Sigh.

This module has been really awesome and by far, the best. Bye storytelling, I’ll miss you.

Broken.

I used to think that being broken was not necessarily a bad thing. I mean, if you weren’t broken, how would you know what happiness feels like?

But now, I don’t know what I think because I am so broken inside after losing someone who meant the world to me. Correction, he was my world.

I believe, in one way or another, we’re all a little broken inside. Some just manage to hide their feelings so well you don’t realize and now, I am totally impressed with people who can conceal their pain so magnificently that you can only see that thin line of recovery upon scrutinizing because the Sally at this very moment, cannot do that.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to eat and sleep and live my life like nothing had happened. When he left, my world just collapsed. Just. Like. That. I don’t know what is love when people just part so frivolously and, it’s funny how all these transition took place. You know, one month ago, I was bathing in so much love I felt like the happiest person alive and now, I am just broken and at the end of my tether.

It’s like someone chopped off my limbs and told me to get over it, move on. I know it’s possible to live without your limbs but, how? I don’t know how people can change so much within days or even, seconds. One moment he tells you you are his everything and the next you are just not even allowed to be one tiny fucking part of it.

I’m gonna stop here before my tear ducts begin to activate themselves without my knowledge again and my, isn’t this world just crazy? It actually dawned upon me that broken-heartedness brings about so much more sophistication in my writing. I wish the letter to the past assignment was for this week instead because I have so much to say to him.

I am so sick of my life.

Animal Testing.

I am not an animal lover, neither do I have a pet but I am really big on the issue of animal testing.

I know that animal testing is eventually beneficial to the consumers, i.e., us. So as to ensure that we do not use any products that may harm us in any ways. What, you mean you are okay with harming animals as long as whatever they died from can be improved and does not affect us?

Now, go back and read that sentence again. No, I am NOT trying to prick your conscience and mandate your actions but here’s the deal: animals go through animal testing to see how much of the harmful product is needed for them to die. Seriously? How humane is that. In the first place, the animals were already FORCED to inhale/ingest/to be injected with toxic substances. They have to go through EXTREME pain all day long. Once they show any sign of recovery, the dose of the toxic substance will be increased.

I’m sure most of us have had gone through some kind of pain or torment in our lives. The helpless feeling when you drown and you’re desperate for air, the tiny paper cuts that make you flinch every now and then, the way you limp when your feet are blistered. I dare say, the pain and suffering of the animals that go through animal testing are tantamount to almost a hundred times more than what we have gone through. Imagine, THAT.

Of course, you might think that I only talk the talk and I don’t walk the walk. I am not in any way involved with organizations that are protesting against animal testing, not raising enough awareness to this issue in our society but the least I can do is to boycott the brands/companies that use animal testing for their products before marketed to us. As I have mentioned, I will not mandate your actions. Do what you wanna do, buy what you wanna buy. All that I’m asking for here, is for you to just sit down and use a little of your time to imagine their pain before the next time you walk into Watsons and buy a product that was engineered, built on the misery of a powerless animal.

P/S: You can easily google the brands that use animal testing. Uhm, just saying.

Uncle Tan.

This is gonna be a long entry but I promise it’s gonna be worth a read. Now, you can either prepare some coffee and enjoy or get the hell out of my page.

I went to Fuhua Secondary School and I used to have to take the bus 99 to get to school every morning. It was an arduous task for me because the bus always go in rounds and rounds looping here and there (after a good 10 mins, I had realized I was still in the same area, mind you). So, I took a cab to school E V E R Y single day of my Secondary 1 and 2 days. The average cab fare from my place to school was around ten dollars.

So, one rainy day when I was waiting for a taxi at the usual place, something out of the norm happened. It started with a drizzle but it soon escalated into a downpour. I was drenched from head to toe, without an umbrella and there was no way I could take shelter while waiting for an empty cab. Considering the fact that I was running late, I decided to continue waiting for a cab under the heavy rain but all the cabs were either occupied or the cab drivers refused to stop. Suddenly, a silver cab halted in front of me. I looked at the back seat and it was occupied by another student so the question struck me, “Why the heck is this cab stopping in front of me?!” I peered in through the window at the driver and he rolled down the window. “Do you want to take my cab to school? I will have to send my son to school first, though,” the driver related as I listened, puzzled.

I decided to get on the cab. The driver sent his son (he studies in Westwood Secondary) to school, followed by me. You know what caught my attention on the cab? The driver NEVER started the meter, even after his son had gotten off the car. So after I arrived in school, I fished for 10 bucks and gave it to the driver. He stared at me and simply smiled while he returned me a change of 5 dollars. (Read last sentence of 2nd para again).

That day, I just thought I had met someone really nice in this dog eat dog community we live in. Turns out, that driver was probably the nicest person (apart from family) I have ever met in this whole wide world because the next day, his cab stopped in front of me AGAIN, with his son in the back seat, AGAIN. So, I took his cab again and this time round, when I arrived at school, I again took out a 10 dollar note and passed it to him but he just chased me out of the cab throwing the money into my hands, together with a note which read his phone number and Uncle Tan. “You can call me if you want me to drive you to school,” he had told me, like we had known each other for forever.

For the subsequent days (weeks, actually), this cycle just kept going. He NEVER took my money after the very first time. For the record, he even asked me if I had brought my allowance to school and offered to give me money for recess. I cannot even begin to tell you how I felt at that moment. As a cynical person, I would tell you that my impression of our society is nothing associated with compassion or kindness but THIS happening totally changed my mentality.

Pardon the lengthiness but I HAVE to add that Uncle Tan even specially came to my place to drive me to school when he didn’t have to drive his son. HOW. Just, HOW can a person be so nice to a stranger whom he barely knows?

He probably doesn’t  know my name and he may not even remember me anymore but I will tell you that I will ALWAYS remember Uncle Tan no matter what happens. Always have, always will.

Firsts.

So… I read some of the blogs and they are basically talking about the poly experience thus far but let’s not go there just in case Leslie gets so frustrated with reading (almost) identical contents. As the title suggests, I’m gonna touch on the topic of firsts.

I vehemently believe that all our firsts are naturally connected to fear. When we go through our first love, we get scared at the thought of losing the special person. When we get our first MacBooks, we’re afraid to scratch it. When we first started poly, we were apprehensive of how it would eventually turn out to be like. (Don’t deny.) As for me, I think that my first time cheerleading wins all other firsts hands-down.

I must say, I was initially very apprehensive of the idea of joining the cheer squad because of my build. I am not petite and definitely not skinny (or even thin) and am probably as heavy as an elephant. So, I’d give myself a pat on the back for taking that leap of faith to even attend the very first Magnum Force training (actually, it was the second training for the freshies because the first fell on my birthday and no… I didn’t want to spend my birthday with a bunch of skinny girls, feeling more inferior than I already was.) It was frigging amazing!

In all honesty, I had portrayed the cheerleaders to be extremely bitchy and arrogant (let’s just momentarily forget that they actually HAVE the right to be) but it all turned out otherwise when the training began. We were split into groups with some seniors attached to try out stunts and don’t even get me started on how it felt like to be on a person’s shoulder looking at the whole NP atrium like the Queen of England. For the record, I would quote what the coach had told me, “Smile la, not everybody gets a chance to be so tall up there.”

Also, after having more in-depth knowledge of how cheerleading actually works, I would say I have new found respect for the cheerleaders. It had dawned upon me that not everyone can endure the tough training of Magnum Force physically lest mentally. It must have been such a strain to be training and studying at the same time. The cheerleaders make cheerleading look so… easy and effortless with that smile when they’re on top but… who really knows how many times they have fallen?

It was a really huge leap of faith that I have chosen to take, I guess. It could be a turning point or just an experience. And as much as I really wanna say WATCH ME, I don’t have that kind of faith, well at least not now. I hope three months later I can still tell you that I’m on the cheerleading team and not filling you in with my regrets.

Random musing.

This is probably the fifth time (scratch that, I actually lost count) I have come to this page trying to do some random musing with zero productivity. I cannot decide if I like this piece of assignment because blogging should be something that is done without restrictions (or so I think) but having this piece of work just feels like I’m typing in a box… It’s definitely not that it’s very confined but I guess there are some minor differences when I blog on my personal space and… here.

I am trying to pick out subtopics to write about but oh god this can be quite tough huh. Since this is a storytelling module… I guess we can talk about books? Well, I have been really into Jodi Picoult’s books since a few years ago. If you don’t already know who she is, shame on you! She is probably one of the best authors around and her books are really intriguing. What I feel is the most amazing thing about her is that she can use her pen like wielding a sword and conquer many controversial story plots. So many times when I read her books, I feel like the character in her story.

I would say The Perks Of Being A Wallflower is also another fairly interesting read. It is written from the point of view of a socially awkward guy who is a freshmen (talk about being a freshmen hahaha) and how he tries to fit in at school. I guess the best part was how I could actually feel for myself the emotions the author was trying to relate. I don’t know what makes me like reading but I guess it’s the moment I read something and feel like the author was talking ’bout me. A soulmate… in a book? How does that sound!

Now I probably sound like a geek or a bookworm to you but I’m probably neither and very much the opposite, actually. I can play quite an array of sports and I have participated in musicals too!

So, I lost myself somewhere in the midst of writing this post (hopefully I didn’t lose you, too) and am just gonna wrap up. Now.